If I have to talk to another mom who is just itching to tell me that little Chase knows all his alphabet at 18 months or darling Ava can name all her states and knows every president since Kennedy was in office I am going to puke and not only puke but puke in their face. 

First off I can give two shits. I know my kids are smart and beyond that I have never had that competitiveness when it comes to them. In my mind all kids get what they need in their own time and  rushing anything stresses them and yourself out most times.  That being said it makes me sick when I am standing with my youngest and I can feel the mother next to me just waiting to brag. “How old is she?” it starts. “A year” I say politely. “So is Sophie here AND she walks too.” Ugh it begins! ~ Amazing! A walking child. Simply incredible! A sight to behold. “Was she born in a manger as well?” No I didn’t go there. (Only in my head, which panned out to be pretty funny as well) What makes this mother f’er work? Is she hell bent on the fact that her kid could possibly be the next Albert Einstein? Some of these kids are smart but at the cost of having a real childhood. We all learn soon enough what it’s like to be adult must we shove it in our kids face as soon as they show any interest in potty training. Christ being a kid is short enough as it is. So maybe my kids can’t write their names or count to 50. They hug me when they think I am sad. Smile at me when they know they have finally done what they have set out to do. Mostly they make me laugh and really know what it is like to be important. I need them as much as they need me. So if your kid can kick a goal or knows the national anthem by heart and it makes you smile. Hold that and keep it close to you. Because in the end it’s what matters to you that is special. If the “Momster” next door try’s to shove her stuff in your face it’s only because she needs reinsurance on the job she is doing.