Before I had kids, I honestly, somewhat secretly, thought it would be cool to have like, 6 kids.  Hilarious to me now of course, with two kids, a daughter that is nearly 6, a son that is almost 3, a neglected husband and an even more neglected blog. 

How the hell do people do it?! How do you have more than two kids? Once they out number you, you know they’ll just plan a coup.  As lucky as I am, with two kids that adore each other and are basically sweet, great kids, it’s still super challenging and a ton of work all the time. 

Now that my youngest is 2-1/2 things are settling down, he’s able to play with her, it’s wonderfully delightful to listen to her read to him or play action figures together and crack each other up. It’s something I missed out on as an only-child and it’s exactly why I wanted to have six kids, no two is better, they have each other.

Looking back on the post I had done when my daughter was two was interesting. My son is such a different person, his acting is not nearly as good as his sisters was/is but it is rather hilarious when I hear his super fake, ‘eh-heh-wah’ cry along with the slumped posture and poor-me stance that just isn’t selling anyone on anything. I suspect there’s a little bit of experience speaking, perhaps second and subsequent children in general have to be pretty damn good actors to fool the more experienced parental critic. 

Once again though, I maintain that two year olds, at least at my house, are adorable and basically too little to get very annoyed with. The cuteness factor is off the charts, I’m fairly certain human cuteness peaks at 2+/- years old. Which, by the way, stinks for the older sibling, little man spills something and says, “Oops, I sorry!” and we say, “Aww, oops, that’s ok.” big girl spills something and we say, “Be more careful!”  One thing that might be working for my kids (and other not-terrible two year olds) is both of my children have/had early and good communication skills. As luck would have it they had the ability to express their frustrations in a way that some of their less verbal peers were not able to do. Evidenced during the occasional times that my kids couldn’t quite say the words and daddy & I are sitting there trying our hardest to decipher what, “Amma bama nana!” is supposed to mean only to find ourselves headed straight for a tantrum, “Noooooo that’s not what I’m saying!” so frustrating all around.

Two year olds really are just big babies, they’ve conquered walking and enter the big world, their frustrations and emotions are big and real but we can help them sort them out by giving them the communication tools they need to express their emotions but also by helping them learn to keep their feet on the ground and understand what warrants big emotions and what is actually, ‘No Biggie.’ 

No Biggie was a magical term that helped us during difficult times around 18 months old. When you could see the emotional mercury rising up the thermometer fast, it could get stopped in it’s tracks at best or at least slowed way the heck down, by a simple, ‘No biggie!’ don’t sweat it kid, your crayon broke, here’s another, see? Happy fun time back in effect.

Similarly our own calmness and reactions shape theirs. No one can be calm all the time, especially around a kid throwing a tantrum but when we can hold it together it’s far more effective than when we lose it. You scream, I scream, we all scream for tantrums is as foolish in practice as it is in a sentence. 

Lastly I’ll add that apologizing to your kids is ok, if you lose your temper and say, “I’m sorry I got so frustrated with you but your screaming makes me very aggravated. Let’s both work on speaking nicely to each other.” you model good behavior to your child and they will in turn feel comfortable apologizing for their own bad behavior. Knowing that it’s good to apologize and take responsibility for your actions is key to feeling secure with yourself, owning up to your mistakes is part of learning from them.