One of the most annoying books ever written has got to be, “Men are from Mars, Women are Venus.” the very idea is so primitive and it’s like a free ticket to say, “Oh you’re just such a typical man/woman.” and dismiss any sort of personal growth that an individual might attempt otherwise. I mean, why should a man worry about it if his wife says he’s too insensitive - after all he’s from Mars, he doesn’t need to emulate that sensitivity crap, that’s for chicks!

People totally embrace this notion. There are all these ‘cute’ emails that have been forwarded to oblivion about the topic, one called, “The Rules” that I just read was allegedly written by a man for women. For starters his list had everything numbered #1, each item was #1. I suppose that’s macho in some way? Is counting only for pansies and ladies too? Beyond that the list goes on to say such ‘clever’ things as “Only talk during the commercials.” There are men somewhere picking their knuckles up off of the ground, grunting and applauding this notion and that’s just great, really. Great for me because that’s not the guy that I married! He doesn’t want to have conversations with these guys either and let me tell you, he’s all man. In the truer sense of the word, for one thing he *gasp* knows how to act like a grown up which includes adult conversation.

I know these stereotypes are out there, that’s what this separation is all about, embracing a stereotypical idea of what a man is - a sports watching, insensitive, lug that doesn’t care much about anything that he can’t discuss with the boys club. Along side of a miserable wife who needs to read these lists because she chose a guy that doesn’t want to hear what she’s got to say unless it can be summed up in a thirty second commercial spot - oops times up, I guess he’ll pretend to listen to the rest of what your saying at the next commercial break. She can read these books, emails, etc. and think - well at least I’m not alone. Not alone but sadly stuck in a situation that is so out-dated, so Al Bundy - and who wants to be Peggy Bundy? No one.

But there they are, people like my mother-in-law eating this crap up, and saying with a huge smile, “It’s so true!” I don’t know if it helps them on some level communicate with each other, as I understand it that is the idea of the book, Men are from Mars, etc. to help women and men communicate more effectively. There are tiny bits of helpful wisdom perhaps peppered in there with the bigger piles of dung. Suggestions like: Ladies, tell men what you want, be specific, communicate your wants clearly. That’s valid since we women so often are in the position of being mothers and putting everyone and everything ahead of ourselves so much that we either forget to ask for what we want or forget to even think about what we want.

I still feel that in the bigger picture these theories are detrimental and facilitate continued low-brow thinking. Making a handy excuse for people to stay put in their sludge of an existence. Emotional growth is for wimps. Well one word of caution to the ‘big men’ of the world. You may not know it but when something goes wrong and you blow your top and get really ‘Manly’ angry, when you’re pissed off and punching the wall because that’s what a mad dude does - you look EXACTLY like an angry little toddler. Boohoo, somebody is frustrated and needs a time out. Hold on, whatever you do don’t let yourself figure out a more grown up way to express your angst, that’s for pussies!