10. Don’t throw sand, keep it low.

9. Do you need to use the potty?

8. Sit on your bottom and finish eating.

7. Let go of the ______ (insert family pet or younger sibling as needed)

6. Don’t eat that it’s gross.

5. Don’t take that toy, it’s not yours.

4. Don’t stand in the tub.

3. I’ve already answered that question three times, you tell me.

2. I can’t understand you when your screaming like this, calm down (see post about tumultuous threes)  read more »

10. Bribe your child - if it hasn’t happened yet, it will…

9. Lose patience with your kid in public.

8. Give your kid junk food.

7. Use ‘time outs’ or a ‘naughty chair’

6. Do nothing while your child throws a tantrum (after all sometimes there’s nothing you can do!)

5. Use ‘bad’ language in front of your child… sometimes it just slips out.

4. Laugh at your child’s tantrum. Come on, when they’re freaking out that they can’t wear their underwear and galoshes to the grocery store it’s kinda funny.

3. Take note of embarassing stories regarding your child (or children) to recite to future boyfriends/girlfriends, passers-by.  read more »

10. You hear a kid throwing a tantrum and you think, “That poor mom.” instead of, “She should _____” fill in the blank with inexperienced suggestion.

9. You see a mom with 6 well-behaved kids walking down the sidewalk and you think, “She’s some kind of Super hero.”

8. There’s food stains on your shirt from food someone else ate.

7. You’ve found yourself holding pants with pee-pee in them in one hand and your beverage in the other.

6. You can interpret the sound  of a baby crying, “Wahhh” now has meaning.

5. There’s a ‘To Do’ list that only gets longer.

4. There’s a ‘Honey Do’ list that only gets longer.  read more »

10. You instinctively cup your hand when your child appears to need to throw up or spit food out, napkins are completely optional.

9. Detailed discusions of poop no longer disgust you and in fact you’ve participated in them. “Last night little Timmy’s poop was florescent green, you should have seen it!”

8. Your about 10 times less modest then you once were and you understand that your breasts are useful tools with several functions.

7. Your T.V. spends more time on kids channels then on grown up channels.

6. You can accomplish most tasks that ordinary people struggle with - even if you’ve got a baby strapped to you in a carrier/backpack.  read more »